The nearer window flutters I am given my choice of dinner There is time My lawn is thirsty I call the Weather Bureau They refer me to the Department of the Interior I call myself Then go outside and urinate on the lawn It thanks me But I am arrested and fined I do it again Better Homes & Gardens awards my lawn a prize The Chamber of Commerce is embarrassed I go to the city limits and piss on their sign The F.B.I. investigates I piss on them My bladder is declared a public enemy Pictures of my urinary system circulate on wanted posters I strike everywhere Stores run dry of raincoats I am running dry